Monday, March 21, 2005

Conspiracy of the Sands of Time

I'm supposed to write an entirely different piece yesterday but decided against it and resolved to write it today instead. It took me 10 full minutes before my fingers moved from the keyboard. I don't know. It seems like some people I know are not the only ones feeling the blues these days. Oh, crap!

I was browsing the web and stumbled into this quotation which I came upon three years ago. It goes something like this: "If you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it." I'm not sure but I'm just keeping all the possibilities open. I still wait for the universe to conspire in helping me achieve what I want. And what do I want? I want a new cellular phone! Is that too much to ask?
It probably is.

Friday, March 18, 2005



So this may mean, my sweet, that the fever is over
No need to look back and exhale
Our sighs over coffee and cigarettes.

Fever is poison, my sweet,
Letting the mind wander and forget.
We've been together,
You and I, bodies unite;
Baby, your soul enveloping mine;
Temperatures rise,
Boiling blood in the kettle,
Lighting candles bundles by bundles;
Words fondled by words,
Drowned softly in strained rapture;
Various feelings played and displayed,
And splayed arms strayed from mile to mile;
Hearts raced
But embraced
In a kaleidoscopic haze.

But that was before.
Now, you and I just listen to scarce breaths
In slow rhythms,
Hear the radio hum lovers' delights
Toiled briefly on midnights and midmornings.
The heart grows cold,
Singing songs of the wrongs;
Bleached throngs of pain
And so ready to cry in the rain.

Fever, my sweet, is poison,
And goodbyes have reasons
But, oh, so bittersweet!

Monday, March 14, 2005

Frequently Asked Questions

It's funny how a simple thing can ruin someone to pieces and take you into lonely places. A very unfortunate thing indeed. Everything closes in and you look at your life and ask yourself where you've gone wrong. You are on the very brink. No time to deliberate. You're left for dead.
A former highschool classmate who works in the same company I work for had his heart broken over the girl of his dreams just recently. They have been together for almost 6 years and with just a snap of a finger, she told him it's over. Thru SMS. Very convenient, huh? I don't blame him if this should devastate him. Not all men are pigs. Some guys, straight or not, take relationships seriously. I'm not at all like that but it made me wonder: How can someone be so beautiful be treated like that? I mean, what the hell was she thinking? I was reluctant to speak to him. When matters of the heart are tackled, I usually just have my say when asked. I'm not so good with things like that. I tend to swoon. But then I got to talk to him. We started off by talking about the life we had in highschool. How rebellious we were and all. We were practically laughing our asses off when he told the story about that Social Studies teacher who got shitless scared when someone showed him a gun and threatened to kill him. It was a toy gun. But Mr. Omoso fled like a girl out of the room and brought the midget principal back with him and two security guards.
We were reminiscing. And then we went silent. It was deafening. And then I opened the topic about his unfortunate heartbreak. The guy explained what really happened. Almost teary-eyed. Wouldn't look at me in the eye too long. And he asked me how I knew about it. He was kinda private about his love life. I told him everybody was talking about him when he went AWOL for a week from work. Word gets around, you know, I explained. These people are just concerned, I went on. He was just this very nice person, tall, very good looking and everybody likes him. Nobody wants to see him sad. So he went on, telling me how she had him fooled, this and that, blah, blah, blah, strumming his pain with his own fingers whilst fumbling the keys of his celfone (While talking to me, he was texting to his 5th grader sis about his love problem.) The guy is really that desperate.
He choked on his words and I offered loud sighs as my way of telling that I feel for him. I played my lips with my fingers. I was mostly speechless. "Uh huh's" are all I can muster. I wished I can offer more comfort. But we all have problems and whatever world he thinks he is living right now, he needs to realize that life is like that and the only key to survival is resilience. Really. No matter how many heartbreaks or how painful one single heartbreak is, you still need to know that life should still move on. I think he is old enough to know that. Jesus. Love is really just overrated.

Thank God I play for the other team.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

The Sister Interaction

I was already in my nucleus bedroom last night tucking some of my clothes in my closet when my sister texted me. She asked me if I was doing okay and how soon can I come home. Isn't she sweet? We have always been together as far as I can remember and fight all the time like mad wolves from morning till night. Now that we are far apart, we are always missing each other so much that we always text or talk on the phone. I went out to her about the "real me" on the eve of New Year when I came home last December. We were up lying on the roof that night waiting for the firecrackers and fireworks to commence, looking up at the distant stars glistening beautifully. I told her I've been dating men and have one for a bf. It didn't seem to surprise her. Why should it? When I broke up with the bf, I told her first. She didn't flinch. Just like the time when I told her about my being gay. So, now she was asking me if I have a new boyfriend and how lonely it is for her that until now she doesn't have one, too. I replied that I haven't found anybody to replace my last bf just yet. Don't want to go into that game yet again. And went on saying that she should worry that she isn't getting a bf until now. Then, she texted me back that she doesn't give a fuck of her being single but added that I should I get a gf, for a change. I replied, "U R kidding ryt? Girls are full of drama, get mens cycle every month, and they are very high-maintenance. Y bother?" My sister is a big joker sometimes.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

San Fernando: Mountainous Adventure

Monday, March 07, 2005

Authentication Failure

Some people say that resilience is the ultimate antidote against adversity. Resilience, as I understand it, is the ability to recover from every negativity you go through. Aye, it's true. When people put you through such turmoil as neglect, the only way to survive is to fight back and never succumb to tears. Most people you meet can only put you down lots of times. Some people lift you up at other times only to put you down again sooner or later. It's depressing. Very. But how does one overcome this? How do you conquer it all? For starters, sticking to the right people is the right step to take. This is achieved through observation. It is very important. Selection is the next process. And then, voila, everything is breezy from there! Yeah, right!!! As if you don't know that already. As if you need to know! There's really no point in all this, you know. I'm just bored and really don't have anything sensible to say at all. To end, all I really wanna say is that, people are people. You cannot deny the things that people do. They do things that debilitate you. A friend lifts you up. Sure. An enemy puts you down. So it a no-brainer choice right? You'd surely go for the friend rather than they enemy. Right? Nah, that's not right. Listen, the very person that you should give more attention to is that person who makes you feel good. The person who lifts you up and down, and and up and down, and up and down, and up down--until you explode!!! Aaaahhhhh!!! Sheesh! I'm really crappy today. At least I know I don't make sense. I'm hitting the PUBLISH POST button anyway. Screw you!